What! I'm an introvert, I thought there was something wrong with me.

I have a confession to make.  When I first took the Myers Briggs test and found out I was an introvert, I really didn't think it could be true.  It was like the time my singing teacher told me I was a mezzo soprano - I mean that literally translates to 1/2 a soprano.  It felt like a seat on the back row.  

I took the test 3 times!  I thought I could trick it into giving me a better answer.  I thought about how I navigated life, laughing, joking, performing.  Then I remembered my junior school years.  I hated going to parties.  I dreaded standing in the corner on my own, not knowing how to walk up and say hello to people. I worried they'd just give me the cold shoulder, humiliating me in front of an entire room.  I realised that I'd developed a coping strategy, a little bit of armour.

So after the third attempt at the test, I checked out this little advocate character who recharges her batteries through time alone.  I remembered the time we'd rented our spare room to the nanny next door.  A lovely girl who'd come over from Hungary to look after the girls next door.  When things didn't work out, we gave her a room.

As lovely as she was, and she really was, she drove me insane.  When I got home from work, tired and washed out, she wanted to chat!!!  I mean, proper conversations about my day.  She was interested, caring and worst of all JOLLY!

It was definitely me not her, but I really beat myself up about it.  So when I got over the shock and decided to give the little advocate a chance, it was like coming home.  I could let myself off the hook, as I came to understand all of those little quirks of my personality.

Coming to know ourselves at a deep level and developing self acceptance is part of the mindfulness path.  On a practical level, it means we can prepare ourselves for potentially difficult situations.

This week I am off on retreat to Holy Isle.  I don't know anyone there and there's about 4 hours of yoga every day.  I really need to wear my glasses when I book these things!! I do attend a yin class which involves about 3-5 minutes in each pose.  It means I can keep up.  Following other forms of yoga is a bit more challenging.  By the time I've got into washed out pigeon, everyone else has moved on to wounded frog!  (sorry yogies - had to be done).

So whilst it is a retreat and the people will be lovely, I know I may find it difficult.  Understanding our personality traits means we can manage ourselves or make simple preparations.  For example, I've bought a travel kettle so if I need to take a moment in my room with a nice cup of tea that's exactly what I'll do.

Coming to know ourselves is empowering.  If you've not come across this test before and are curious about your own little quirks, - complete the test for yourself https://www.16personalities.com/free-personality-test

 I hope you find it insightful, take care.